Marja's Story

A Member of our Card and Bookmark Team I’m Marja Rolfes-Lemson (we Dutch people use our husbands name first and then our maiden name) I was born in Schiedam, the Netherlands on June 10^th 1970. I’m the oldest of 3 girls. I grew up in a protective family. I always had a history of being tired, having headaches or being nauseous. Doctors couldn't find anything, ever, accept for that one time in June 1979 (I was 9 years old) when I had acute appendicitis . Boy, did I cry when the nurses said that I had to stay in hospital that day (and that was on the day that we where suppose to go on holiday for the first time in years, car was packed and all…) I was homesick always so I couldn't even camp out with friends or nieces because of that, and now, I had to stay in hospital. In those days parents weren't allowed to stay with their kids, so I was all alone. I can remember laying in that hospital bed, ready to go to surgery, my grandma and her sister where bending over and saying that they would pray for me.

Boy did the surgeon and nurses have their hands full when I came into surgery, screaming and crying for my mommy and daddy. Back then, I already had a tremendous fear of being nauseous and vomiting, so that wasn't a very uplifting period.

The  nurses weren't very nice, if I was sobbing in bed for my mommy and daddy, they shut the door of the room saying that they didn't want to have anything to do with a childish kid like me. (boy, writing this all down is bringing me back in 1979 and opening my eyes for some things that I think I’m mentally still dealing with now). I can remember that at bedtime, in that week in the hospital, they would let me call my Mom and Dad at the desk of the ward. So, that was nice of them after all.

It was a hard week, that’s all I can remember.

After that, I always was a nervous person…….worried about everything and was scared of everything that involved puking and nausea.

 On Sundays we always went to church twice. In the beginning when I was 3 or 4 years old, in a “room-congregation” in Schiedam. It was an old house where a few families held church.

Later, in 1977, in Vlaardingen in the congregation where we still are.

I always had difficulties with concentrating in class and in those days they didn't think further and just knew what they saw. I wasn't up to a high grade so I went to “household-school” as they call it, after “basic-school” (you go to basic school from 4 years old until 12 years old and then to “high-school”) “Household school” was 4 years and that was nice, nice girlfriends. But no Saviour in sight….My grandmother (Mom of my Mom) was always very “heavy on handed” dressed in black and going to a “room-congregation” where hell and fury were preached, so that was a “stamp” she put on our family too. My Mom and Dad always were under her “thumb” as I can remember it. We always visited her on Saturday mornings and there had to pray over the cup of coffee and cookies with a “crying voice” …..well, you can imagine what that did to us very young girls….fear and shivering of that High and Mighty God that was furious at us……..

Later, she gave me a book, from Bunyan, “Christians Journey to Eternity”  (in English it is called "Pilgrim's Progress") and that is when I realized that if I didn't know the Lord Jesus and His offer for us, I couldn't come before our God. First (in the following years) it was always fear, fear, fear, it wasn't for me etc….

I then started dating Rien, my husband, we have been in the same church from 1977 (he was baptised as a baby there) I was 18. He was the one that was always talking, (we weren't used to that, talking about what ‘s bothering you was difficult in our household) so, that was a whole new world for me. I felt safe with him. Up until the day we got married in 1991, I always doubted if I loved him enough and he always stayed by my side, sometimes he said, ok, then I will go away now and maybe in 6 weeks I’ll call you to see if you still doubt………he never got the chance to walk out that door because I always cried and held him close because I realized I couldn't do without him. But this doubting was part of me, even in my faith for God.

I visited a few counsellors and they where able to help me some, but I’ll always be me I think.

When we were married I started to get more depressed and had health issues. It took us 4 or 5 years and a lot of tests until finally God gave us Martijn in April 1996. I ended up in hospital and there it seemed that I had pre-eclampsia, so they said. It was good that God put me in hospital 2 weeks before Martijn was born, because when I went into labour, it seemed that Martijn was turned the wrong way….so the gynaecologist had to do an emergency C-section. There I went, I thought I would die….finally pregnant and almost a baby, and I would die…..but God helped me through it and after a horrible week I was allowed to go home with Rien and Martijn. It took me so long to get better after the difficult pregnancy and C-section, so we thought…..but it got worse and I started to sink through my legs and had to crawl to the couch to rest, I was so horribly tired. The doctor couldn't find anything and so we went home, frustrated and worried. I felt sick, like you have the flu and every muscle in your body hurts, and the throat too…..Finally I saw a TV program with a man telling about his health issues and I recognized myself in it! It was called CFS. So we went looking for a Dr who Knew about this illness and I went through several tests. Blood tests came back ok, no horrible diseases there, all the other tests were ok, so……….he said: when all else is numbered out, the only thing left is; CFS. They said they couldn't do anything about that, but only help me fight some of symptoms like the muscle pains. I got Carnitene to ease up the muscle pains and that did work somewhat….All that time I never became angry at God….just hopeless with my own body. Later on we discovered that I had food allergies. So no milk, products with milk, egg, shrimps, crab, lobster, pineapple, strawberries, kiwi’s and a few other things.

God always provided! Even in the financial issues. There was always (just in time) enough money to pay medication, bills etc. God is so good!

I believe that it was 2005 that I became a member of the website of Michael W. Smith and joined the prayer team and made so many very, very, good friends, Diane was among them!  

When facebook came, we all went over to facebook and continued our friendships and prayers over there.

3 years ago, our best FOL (Friends Online) friend Mark Johnson visited us here in the Netherlands. He was on a business trip to France but first he came to us. He arrived on Friday and a few hours later was in hospital, his pacemaker went bizerk………..so, we had to visit him over there in Amsterdam. When he was released from the hospital on Wednesday, we took him home with us to stay with us and rest a little after surgery. We are so thankful that God moved us like this that Mark wasn't in France when this happened but here, where we could help him out and visit. Our Pastor came with us too.

We had a blessed time! Last year Mark found out that he had lymphoma……….we where devastated. Someone in our Church, who wants to remain unknown, made it possible for Rien, Martijn and me to go over to visit Mark in Ohio, for 1 week………imagine….3 plane tickets, a hotel, rent of a car……….We where there in time. Mark was just released from the hospital the day we got there. He had no one to help him that week; again God provided. We were able to help him out that week. Some cleaning, washing, riding to hospital for shots, grocery shopping. I stayed over night while Rien and Martijn slept in the hotel, just to be sure there was someone around for Mark when he needed something in the night. It was so hard to leave again but we knew that he was (and still is) in Gods hands.

A few months ago I “stumbled” upon Second Chance with Saving Grace  and without noticing I joined the prayer team and began to feel that I could help in some way. Knowing what it is like to have a chronic illness helps to make a bond. I really hope that I can help out, from time to time.

Blessed are all those who wait for Him     Isaiah 30:18

Marja Rolfes-Lemson

"Dutch Tulip"