Cryoglobulinemia: Living with Chronic Illness and Pain by Dr. Diane Dike

I don't know how this body carries on. How is it possible to hurt this much and survive?

I have cryoglobulinemia. In the first picture you see some of the things I use to make it through the night. "Pegs" and a "fibro crane" get positioned so they stick into the "hot" spots in hopes of wearing the pain out. The two blankets are what I put over my head to keep the heat in, keep my head and eyes warm and to help avoid painful headaches. I also use them for when I have migraines to block out the light.

The memory foam, adjustable bed is suppose to keep me warmer than a regular mattress. It also allows me to elevate my legs or sit up to do outreach work for SCwSG, cryoglobulinemia and our radio program.

And of course, GRACIE, my amazing, faithful friend and Italian greyhound service dog! With her help, I haven't been hospitalized overnight in 11 years. That's a miracle!

Impossible Pain
It's impossible to put the pain this disease creates into words. If I do sleep, I wake up feeling unrested, stiff with intense bone pain. I think, "This can't be good." But I push through and try to focus on my goals, all my blessings and plans for the day.

I've had fibromyalgia since I was 15. I started to have sleep problems at the same time. Did the lack of sleep bring it on? Or the pain bring the insomnia on? Was it the skiing or car accidents that triggered fibro? Who can really know. But it started and it's been relentless ever since. However, I didn't let it hold me back much when I was young.

Understanding Why?
It's hard to understand why I have to suffer so much everyday. It's a lonely, confusing and complicated situation.

If I didn't have faith, hope and lots of love for my husband, Gracie and foster children we are adopting it would be hard to see any reason to go on.

Yet, I know God has a plan in it all. And I will trust Him, even in the storms. I've learned to focus on every ounce of good and live with a grateful heart in spite of overwhelming challenges. It's been a key to happiness. In our Cryo support group we are networking to try to find better ways to deal with and overcome this dreadful disease.

Living Each Day As if it Could Be My Last
I'm very good at focusing like a gladiator, to get my daily objectives accomplished. I have to-do lists everywhere cheering me on to keep on, keeping on!

I haven't had the luxury of taking a vacation from cryo in 25+ years. Having cryo isn't something one can check off a list. If I don't reckon doing it today, that's too bad because there is no magic pill to make it go away.

Chronic Illness: Fatigued Family and Friends
Cryo is a chronic illness so friends and family get fatigued with it's ramifications and life altering impact leaving you feeling misunderstood, left behind and lonely.  But I've been there for myself, haven't I. I've attended every test, biopsy, scan, blood work up, colonoscopy, endoscopy, sigmoidoscopy and blasted medical appointment. I've tried every treatment imaginable, from the standard medical therapies, to drinking a nasty floating mushroom tonic, having acupuncture and juicing every green thing in the fridge, getting IV treatments until my veins said, "NO MORE"  and even going to Mexico for alternative treatments (coming back worse than when I left). What a spiritually, emotionally and financially exhausting expedition.

It's strange I know, but I push my own wheelchair and then sit in it to prevent a flare up or to endure one or to deal with the exhaustion the disease causes. Not to mention, I have a 9 lb. dog in a snugli close to me heart so I can more safely participate in life. You wouldn't believe the things people have said and done in ignorance. But there has been much kindness as well. It's just sometimes the mean stuff is easier to remember, if I'm not careful.

I Have Cryoglobulinemia But it Doesn't Have Me!
I have cryo but I don't want it to have me! Yet, I have to admit my life is dictated by IT. Mom just feels 'unwell'. Gracie helps her and we need to too. The kids get it and I think it helps them to be more compassionate to others with disabilities. They don't want to loose me and I don't want to go. But none of us really knows, do we?

As I write this, I am in bed as usual, full of intense bone pain and lower back, spine and neck agony.  Focused on my projects for the day. The children are off to school. I'm snuggling with Gracie, writing to you from under the warm covers, getting ready for a swim in my therapy tub, enjoying my morning smoothie (including something organic and green from the fridge), helping a friend pack up to move seeing, some friends from TN and then enjoying a family movie night this evening. It's good and I'm thankful.

I spend what little time I may have with my darling children, amazing dog, dedicated husband and you. Through sharing posts on social sites and blogging my goal is: to make sure you know that you are not alone, no matter what your struggle with.

Cuddles with Gracie and a kiss, hugs and prayer for my kids every morning is priceless. I literally know how blessed I am to urge them in the morning to hurry for school, eat their veggies, blow their noses and brush their teeth. We welcome all children who want to be here, want a family and need our love. I never know who God will send us through the social workers and our agency to be a part of our foster home and our forever home. But we are ready to envelope them into our lives.

None of Us Get Out of This Life Alive
One cold morning my bed will be empty. There will be no Rise and Shine song sung to wake my children for breakfast. My son will need someone to tell him he "saved the day and he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him." My daughter will need a Moma to giggle and share all her secret girl stuff with. Paul will be released from his years of caregiving and not have to worry anymore.  And Gracie... "Gracie will we go together? Or will you be left behind and lost without the job God created you to do? I have to believe He will work it out just right."  And, YOU will look for my silly, informative awareness banners, animal rescue posts or fun uplifting videos that make you laugh and cry. But there won't be any.

For Now I'm Going to LIVE!
Cryo has been a game changer. I never thought I'd make it out of my 20's but here I am coming up on my 50's. Wow. Still I think of things like wanting to see my children grow up, get married and have children. Becoming a grandma - old and silly with Paul...  One thing I do know: Is for now I'm going to LIVE!

When the time does come, I'm going to go out sliding over home-plate giving it all I've got! I'll jump the hurtles, push through the pain and cheer on every warrior next to me. 

Always a Gift
The gift in cryo is to to learn to live each moment as IF it could be your last. Take nothing for granted. Being ready to die has helped me learn to LIVE!  And ..."we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

So for now, let's take life in both hands, grab it, shake it and make every moment count. Adore our kids. Smile and wave at people we don't know, just because we can. BREATHE! Embrace those we love and if they will not embrace back, find someone who will. I did and it's changed everything! 

Don't be afraid or settle for less. Do what you love to do and bring God glory!

Surround yourself with beautiful things and people - look for the rainbow and remember it. Rescue a dog! Dance, laugh and eat yummy food. Don't hold back. Choose wisely what you spend your time on. Once you've spent it you can't get it back. I've never seen 'I wish I'd worked more' on a headstone or a hearse with a U-Haul. 

Thank You
Before it's too late, I hope you know I've treasured and appreciated EVERY kind and encouraging word or glance, every song we've sung, every generous gift, volunteer effort, warm and gentle hug, and moment we've spent together...  I would love to still be with you, laughing, crying, eating weird miracle foods, and sharing a fantastic guest with you through our radio program ...    You became my family and I can't get enough of you. 
I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. I tried to never hurt anyone but to always help everyone. If I should be gone tomorrow just know, I will be in the thick of it in Heaven - a busy-body - making to-do lists, helping everyone, cuddling with the animals, enjoying naps and thankful not to hurt anymore. I'll waiting for you.

Thank you. God Bless.

It's Such A Pain

The dictionary describes pain as:

pain   [peyn]

noun

1.  physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

2.  a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: a back pain.

3.  mental or emotional suffering or torment: I am sorry my news causes you such pain.

4.  pains,

a.  laborious or careful efforts; assiduous care: Great pains have been taken to repair the engine perfectly.

b. the suffering of childbirth.

5.  Informal . an annoying or troublesome person or thing.

There are so many hidden pains, whether physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, and yet most pain cannot be seen by anyone else.  It certainly cannot be felt by someone else, at least not in any comparable way because feelings cannot be shared that way.  Someone may say to you, “I know how you feel”, but the truth of the matter is they do not.  It is in every way impossible for one to know how anyone else feels.  We can imagine the pain another is in, but that is the full extent of it. 

How then do we reach out to those whose pain has become a burden beyond their means for endurance?  How do we help without smothering?  How do we help without insulting?  What do we say without hurting?

We’ve all heard the good intentions of others telling us to “call if you need anything”, or “keep your chin up, it will get better with time.”    I’ve heard some outrageous words of ‘encouragement’ when my husband became ill with brain cancer and later when he died from it; words that caused more pain to my already broken heart.  So we put on our Happy Mask and hide our pain from the world.

Hidden diseases, menacing pain in a body that looks in every way healthy, are an enigma to the outside world as well.  “You look just fine”, “It’s all in your head”, “Just don’t think about it”.  More words from those who think that they are helping, but in reality their help is “all in their head.”  

So what do we do?  Do we pretend that we are practically perfect in every way?  I’ve never been to successful at flying with umbrellas so I think we should leave the “practically perfect” pretense to Mary Poppins.  Do we hide from the world and lick our wounds in private?  Also not a good plan, hermits tend to get overly cantankerous and bow-legged.  What do we do?

We connect.  We find a place where we are free to be who we are.  A safe place where there are others who truly can imagine our pain, whatever kind of pain it is.  Or if they can’t imagine it, they can at least empathize with us, rather than patronize us.  A place where we are encouraged to look beyond our pain into the world as it can be when we are surrounded by the love of those who have already walked our journey or are on the same road we are walking now.  We find a place like CVO and SCwSG, where our life and our dreams are nourished, where we are free to leave our masks on the coat rack and we are free to express our pain, our thoughts, and our hopes.

Today's message was shared during a Zoom video call. Join people from all over the world and SCwSG/CVO members/volunteers every Tuesday, at 10am mst., for 15 minutes of:
Hope & Encouragement with Shelley Brandon!

SCwSG's Grief and Encouragement Coach

My Redeemer Lives

Ruth 3
¹⁰ Then he said, “Blessed are you of the Lord, my daughter! For you have shown more kindness at the end than at the beginning, in that you did not go after young men, whether poor or rich. ¹¹ And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request, for all the people of my town know that you are a virtuous woman. ¹² Now it is true that I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I. ¹³ Stay this night, and in the morning it shall be that if he will perform the duty of a close relative for you—good; let him do it. But if he does not want to perform the duty for you, then I will perform the duty for you, as the Lord lives! Lie down until morning.”

Ruth had gone to Boaz under Naomi's instruction. Boaz was her kinsman redemmer and as such was obligated by Jewish law to provide and protect Ruth. When Ruth uncovers Boaz's feet she is showing submission and obedience to Boaz and is asking for him to step in as her kinsman redeemer. Boaz comends Ruth for being virtuous and promise to redeem her. Then he sends her home with six ephahs of flour. He has already begun to supply Ruth and Naomi's every need.
Like Ruth we too have a Kinsman Redeemer. When we earnestly seek God's face He promises to redeem us through our Kinsman Redeemer, Jesus. Not only does He promise to redeem us but He also supplies our every need, protects us and has provided and inheretance for us in heaven with Him. Just as the blessings for Ruth from Boaz affected Naomi the blessings God gives us when He redeems us are meant to affect the lives of those around us. Share His message of hope and redemption with those you encounter today!

Father, Redeemer, Provider, I seek Your face today! I long to know You more! Give me the courage to share You with all of those I encounter today, to give them the reason for mu joy and hope, that they to may come to know and trust You! Be glorified in me today I pray, in Jesus redemptive name, amen!

 

Deuteronomy 31:17

New King James Version (NKJV)
Joshua the New Leader of Israel

1 Then Moses went and spoke these words to all Israel. 2 And he said to them: “I am one hundred and twenty years old today. I can no longer go out and come in. Also the Lord has said to me, ‘You shall not cross over this Jordan.’ 3 The Lord your God Himself crosses over before you; He will destroy these nations from before you, and you shall dispossess them. Joshua himself crosses over before you, just as the Lord has said. 4 And the Lord will do to them as He did to Sihon and Og, the kings of the Amorites and their land, when He destroyed them. 5 The Lord will give them over to you, that you may do to them according to every commandment which I have commanded you. 6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
7 Then Moses called Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, “Be strong and of good courage, for you must go with this people to the land which the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall cause them to inherit it. 8 And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

God is preparing His people for a change. They are about to enter the Promised Land, but it will not be under the leadership of Moses. God knows how hard change can be for people especially when it has to do with leadership. The people were not always pleased with Moses, often they complained against Moses, but Moses was the one who had led them out of bondage in Egypt and through the desert for 40 years. The people had come to trust that Moses could get them out of a tight spot. Now Moses tells the people he is too old to continue leading the people and God has said that Moses would not enter the Promised Land. Moses reminds the people that it was God, not Moses, who has gone before the people as they traveled. It is God, not Moses, who defeated the Amorites and gave their land to the Israelites and God will continue to go before the Israelites and defeat their enemies. They are instructed to remain strong and courageous because God will never leave them nor forsake them.

God has called Joshua to take Moses' place as the leader of His people. If you have ever been called to replace a beloved leader you can imagine how Joshua may have felt. He may have had feelings of insecurity and doubt. God does two things to encourage and strengthen Joshua. He has Moses appoint Joshua in front of the entire Hebrew Nation and He tells Joshua that He is with him. God tells Joshua to be strong and of good courage because He will cause Joshua to be successful as He follows God's command. The people will inherit the land God has promised to them because God will go before Joshua and cause it to happen. He also tells Joshua personally that He will never leave nor forsake him.

God is still a close and personal God! He desires to have a close personal relationship with each of us. His promise to go before and never leave nor forsake is not only for Joshua and the Israelites it is for each of us. I don't know what changes you are facing in your life or what positions God has called you to but I do know that He is telling you that He is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. So remain strong and courageous my friend, your God is with you! He is going before you and He will be successful as He leads you!

Father, Source of my strength, thank You for being close beside me! Thank You Jesus that through You I can draw on the strength of the Father! Thank You that You are the same yesterday, today and forever and that the promises in your Word are for me as well! Go before me today I pray. help me to remain stron and courageous as I walk through this life and do all the things You call me to do! In Jesus strong and powerful name, amen!

Praise and Peace

Philippians 4:6-7


New King James Version (NKJV)

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Throughout the Old Testament we see examples of this scripture being lived out. Moses was hesitant when God called him but once he accepted his commission he never doubted God's awesome power. Even when the Red Sea was before him and the Egyptian soldiers were behind him he knew God would deliver His people. Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego showed the same resolve vowing not to ever bow to a man or his statue, praising God's power and glory no matter the out come. Daniel was just as courageous as he faced the lion's den because of his faith.

The New Testament records the same in steadfastness in Stephen, Peter, James, Paul, Silas and John as they faced death, persecution and imprisonment because of their faith.

How can anyone praise God when they are being stoned or are chained in a prison? It takes focus and resolve! I was reminded of the importance of focus as I was driving on a narrow mountain road with an S-curve. I have driven on that road many times. Sometimes I experience anxiety and hit the brakes and sometimes I have complete peace, leaving the cruise on. What makes the difference? It is my focus! If I allow my gaze to look too far into the distance I lose sight of where the road goes and become anxious about the size of the road and possible oncoming traffic, even if there is none. If I am looking to close to the front of my car I become anxious about the degree of the turn and decide the posted speed is not safe after all. But if I keep my focus where it should be I am not anxious or afraid. Peter had the same experience when he got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. As long as his focus was where it should be, on Jesus, he was fine. But as soon as he lost focus and looked at the storm he became anxious and started to sink.

We have the ability to praise God in good times and in storms if we do not take our eyes off of Jesus, then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus!

Father, Creator, You are my strength and my peace! Help me to keep my eyes firmly focused on You and too praise You no matter what! I would rather face any storm with Your peace than to receive any blessing without You in my life! Today I surrender all to be in Your presence! Thank You for calling me Yours! In Jesus powerful name, amen.

Encouragement...Pass it on!

Hebrews 10:24-25
The Message (MSG)
 22-25So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

In the beginning of the book of Daniel some of the children of Israel are taken into captivity. These young men have not been randomly selected. They are all children from nobility, good-looking, gifted in all wisdom, quick to understand, and without blemish. These were all children who had been born with a "silver spoon in their mouths" so-to-speak! Daniel does not tell us how many children were ripped from the only homes they had probably known, their parents, their families and friends and carried off 900 miles to Babylon. Four of the youth are highlighted however, they are Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. We don't know if these young men knew each other prior their captivity, became friends on the long journey, or if they first met in captivity. We do know that they were all set under the same steward (Daniel 1:11) We also know these boys stuck together and were prayer partners (Daniel 1:11-17 and Daniel 2:13-18).

The purpose for the captivity of these specific children of Israel was so that they might be assimilated into the Babylonian culture and serve the king. "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself" (Daniel 1:6). Daniel obviously had an intimate relationship with God and he was not going to do anything to hurt that relationship. Sounds a little like resolutions we all make. Resolutions are hard to keep! We can determine to do or not do something and manage to keep the resolution for a while. We are more likely to keep that resolution when we have support and encouragement from family and friends! God provided friends for Daniel! I am sure they encouraged each other when temptations threatened to undo their conviction!

Today's devotional video is not a music video. It is a video about the resolve of one young man to accomplish a  task some thought too difficult for him. In fact he was given the option to not participate. His resolve and courage inspired his classmates to greatness. I have been truly blessed to know people like Matt W. They refuse to be imprisoned by physical or health limitations. Instead they have faith that God will give them the courage, strength and encouragement to do whatever He asks them to do. They pass that courage on to others through their encouragement!

Father, You have created each one of us! You have connected us to each other! Thank You for those in my life that have encouraged me! Help me to encourage those around me! In Jesus precious name, amen!

Today's Devotional brought to you by Prayer Warrior Michelle Simpson

Acts 15:7-11
New King James Version (NKJV)
7 And when there had been much dispute, Peter rose up and said to them: “Men and brethren, you know that a good while ago God chose among us, that by my mouth the Gentiles should hear the word of the gospel and believe. 8 So God, who knows the heart, acknowledged them by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He did to us, 9 and made no distinction between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith. 10 Now therefore, why do you test God by putting a yoke on the neck of the disciples which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear? 11 But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ[a] we shall be saved in the same manner as they.”

I grew up in a Christian home and gave my life to Jesus at a young age. I knew He loved me, but growing up I believed the amount of love you received was dependent on who you were, how you looked or how you performed. Because I believed the love of important people in my life was based on these things I also, mistakenly believed God's love was as well.

In high school I took a Great Religions of the World class an decided in order for God to love me more I needed to convert to Judaism. After much research I was disappointed to learn you had to be born Jewish to actually be Jewish. God's chosen people will always be the Jewish people but how comforting these words from Acts are! They assure us that even though we were not born into the Jewish faith, God loves us too and wants us to be with Him for eternity! He makes no distinction between us and them! So deep is His love for us that He sent His only Begotten Son to pay our debt!

Father, how great is Your love for all of Your children whether Jew or Gentile! Thank You that reached down and touched my life! Thank You that You call me Yours! Help me to never forget that! In Jesus name, amen.

Today's Devotional brought to you by Prayer Warrior Michelle Simpson

Psalm 29:9-11

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁹ The voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth,
And strips the forests bare;
And in His temple everyone says, “Glory!”

¹⁰ The Lord sat enthroned at the Flood,
And the Lord sits as King forever.
¹¹ The Lord will give strength to His people;
The Lord will bless His people with peace.

Deuteronomy 7:6

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁶ “For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth.

1 Peter 2:9

New King James Version (NKJV)

⁹ But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

God is the same yesterday, today and always! The same God that spoke all of creation into existance still speaks creation into existance, it is His voice that causes the deer to give birth. The same God that sat enthroned at the flood still sits enthroned, He is King of kings forever and reigns sovereign over every situation. The same God that strips the forest bare in the fall causes it to burst foth with new growth every spring! This same God has chosen you, you! He has sett you apart as a special treasure to Himself! He will give you strength and bless you with peace! He sat enthroned over the flood that covered the earth and sits enthroned over the floods that threaten to overwhelm you! After the flood God gave a promise, a rainbow. Trust in Him and look for your rainbow! God is faithfull!

Father God, Creator of heaven and earth, I will trust in You all of the days of my life! You have called me and set me apart. You have promised to strengthen me and give me Your peace wich passes all understanding! Thank You for chosing me! Help me to soar over the rainbow! Thank You for Your faithfulness! Your love is amazing! In Jesus, Holy, Healing, All powerful name, amen.

Jonah 2
New King James Version (NKJV)
2 Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the fish’s belly. 2 And he said:

“I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction,
And He answered me.
“Out of the belly of Sheol I cried,
And You heard my voice.
3 For You cast me into the deep,
Into the heart of the seas,
And the floods surrounded me;
All Your billows and Your waves passed over me.
4 Then I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight;
Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’
5 The waters surrounded me, even to my soul;
The deep closed around me;
Weeds were wrapped around my head.
6 I went down to the moorings of the mountains;
The earth with its bars closed behind me forever;
Yet You have brought up my life from the pit,
O Lord, my God.
7 “When my soul fainted within me,
I remembered the Lord;
And my prayer went up to You,
Into Your holy temple.
8 “Those who regard worthless idols
Forsake their own Mercy.
9 But I will sacrifice to You
With the voice of thanksgiving;
I will pay what I have vowed.
Salvation is of the Lord.”
10 So the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

Yesterday we saw Esther, a beautiful young orphan who had been crowned queen, then asked to do an impossible task. Although she was afraid she knew her strength came from the LORD so she asked others to pray with her so she would have courage to do what God wanted her to. The truth is not all of us are Esthers. Many of us chose to run if the task is too frightening, too difficult, or might require more than we are willing to give.

It is not comfortable to admit but many times I have been more like Jonah. God told Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell them that they were sinning and God was not going to stand for it any longer (Jonah 1:1-2). Jonah did not want to do what God had asked him to do. Nineveh was the center of the Assyrian Empire, enemies of the Israelites. Jonah was probably afraid of the consequences that could come from delivering such a message to one's enemy. Chapter 4 of the book of Jonah gives us some more insight into another reason Jonah is reluctant to go; he knows God is "a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness, and [when sinners turn to You and meet Your conditions] You revoke the [sentence of] evil against them." (Jonah 4:2b AMP). Jonah finds a ship headed in the opposite direction and sees it as a perfect escape so he takes it.

We often find ourselves in the midst of raging storms when we are out of God's will; storms that not only affect our lives but the lives of those around us as well. Just like Jonah we can be oblivious to the raging storm we have caused until someone points it out to us, then we have a choice, apologize and admit our wrong doing or continued denial. The good news is that when we admit our wrong doing God rescues us! God did not allow Jonah to drown when he took ownership of his sin. He sent a big fish to rescue Jonah from drowning, then when  Jonah repented and was ready to submit his will to God, God had the fish spit Jonah onto dry land.  Did you see the rescue was a big fish? Most of us would not see three days in the belly of a fish as being rescued but Jonah 1:6 assures us that Jonah did. Take heart Beloved, even if you are enduring a raging storm of your own making or find yourself in a pit you dug yourself, God loves you  and longs to rescue you! Fall on your knees in prayer, confess all to the One who made you and loves you more than any other then give Him thanks even if the rescue does not seem like a rescue right now! God is faithful!

Father, You rescue me from the pit and set my feet on solid ground. Your mercy and compassion are unmeasured.You call to me and pursue me even when I am running from You, that is how great Your love is for me! Father help me to hear Your voice and respond obediently and when I don't help me to be like Jonah and recognize my folly immediately and turn back to You! You alone are God, You alone are my salvation! In Jesus saving name, amen.

Courage comes from Prayer

Esther 4:11-16
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 “All the king’s servants and the people of the king’s provinces know that any man or woman who goes into the inner court to the king, who has not been called, he has but one law: put all to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter, that he may live. Yet I myself have not been called to go in to the king these thirty days.” 12 So they told Mordecai Esther’s words.

13 And Mordecai told them to answer Esther: “Do not think in your heart that you will escape in the king’s palace any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

15 Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai: 16 “Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and fast for me; neither eat nor drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will fast likewise. And so I will go to the king, which is against the law; and if I perish, I perish!”

Esther, and orphan who had been crowned queen, has been called to a task that could cost her her life. Her cousin Mordecai has just disclosed the evil plot to annihilate all of the Jews from the Mede-Persian Empire and asked her to plead their case before the king. Esther had some real fears to contend with. She had become queen because the first queen, Vashti, had refused to obey the king, she knew first-hand the cost of disobedience. She had hidden her Jewish heritage from everyone when she had been taken as a candidate for queen and now she had not been called into the king's presence for 30 days and it would violate the law to go before the king without being called. The task itself seemed fruitless as Persian law stated that an edict from the king could not be overturned even by the king himself.
The fears were real, the task seemed hopeless yet her cousin reminded her that she may have been called "for such a time as this." Esther asks for fasting from everyone. Fasting in the Jewish culture was a time of intimate prayer and fellowship with God. Esther needed courage to do what God had called her to do, so she prayed. Not only did she pray but she enlisted an entire people group of believers to prayer with her and for her and then she resolved that God's will be done in her life. She would do what she was called to do no matter the cost.

Today what has called called you to do. Perhaps, like Esther, you have been called to such a time as this! You may feel insignificant, invisible, unworthy or ill-equipped. Drop to your knees and pray and enlist prayer warriors to pray for you and with you! Then, like Esther, confidently do what God has called you to do. He will equip you and go with you!

Father, Creator, Sustainer, Provider, Thank You for the power we have in prayer. Thank You for friends and family that You have given us who will pray with us and for us! Thank You for going with us into every situation and equipping us for the tasks You have created us for! Father I pray that You would be with me and each one that feels they are not ready, worthy, equipped or fearful of what might come from obedience to You. Give us Your courage and strength to be obedient and do all that You have created us to do. Thank You for Prayer! In Jesus powerful name, amen!